Why Can’t I Stop Thinking About This? (The Science Behind Sticky Thoughts)

Have you ever had a thought that sticks in your mind? It was always there, in the forefront of your mind or even lingering in the background, no matter what you were doing. Maybe the thought was about something embarrassing that you did, a regret of the past, or concerns about a current situation that you are living through. This is called sticky thinking and just about everyone is subject to its torment. William James said, “Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.” The same can be said for those sticky thoughts.

But why do we have sticky thoughts? It’s a brain thing: our brains are wired to focus on the negative to help us learn from our mistakes, to hold on to unfinished business, and to link thoughts to strong emotions like fear, guilt, and sadness to protect us in the future. Although our brains hold on to thoughts for a particular purpose, it also makes those thoughts hard to forget when that purpose has been served.

So how do we manage these sticky thoughts? Even though we can’t erase these thoughts, we can control how we respond to them. One way to manage these pesky thoughts is to practice mindfulness by being fully in the present moment without judgment, just noticing what is happening right now. With mindfulness you simply observe the thought, recognize it as a thought and not necessarily a fact, and let it pass. You don’t have to have emotional interaction with the thought or try to push it away, just notice it and let it float away like a cloud in the sky. Remember that every person has thoughts that they don’t like, and you are not alone in this predicament. Another way to loosen the sticky thought’s grip and break the rumination cycle is to engage in a distracting activity. Go for a walk with a friend, reading a book that draws you into the story line, or journaling can help get the thought out of your head. Sticky thoughts an also lose some of their power when you see them written on paper. Lasty, you can also use a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy technique called cognitive restructuring to challenge and reframe the thought. Cognitive restructuring involves questioning the validity of the thought and looking at it from a different perspective. As you question the validity of the thought, consider the following: is the thought 100% true, is there another way to look at it, and what would I say to a friend who had this thought?

If you find that the suggestions above don’t help and the thoughts make you feel anxious, sad, or they are interfering with your daily life, it might help to talk to a counselor. Counselors can help you identify thought patterns that contribute to your distress, teach you strategies to break free of unhealthy thought loops, and help you incorporate mindfulness techniques to keep the sticky thoughts at bay. Remember, sticky thoughts can be annoying, but you can take back control of your mind and find peace.

 Written by Rhonda Gates, LPC Associate, Supervised by  Jenai Tidwell, LPC-S

Schedule your appointment with Rhonda here!